When the world went into shut down I panicked, as we all did. I had many projects suddenly canceled, and the possibility of growing in my craft seemed to evaporate. I sat mindlessly for a month, completely uninspired. But time gave way to reflection; on values, areas for growth, and an important discovery. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and its discovery helped me to better understand myself and why I am drawn to acting.
ADHD has been described as driving on a highway in torrential rain, unable to see clearly but unable to stop. Racing thoughts, a persistent need for stimulation, often disorganized, impulsive, distracted, and inconsistent. These have been some of the unrealized struggles I faced in my life because of my neuro divergence.
Acting makes me feel whole and has saved me from a life of unnecessary struggle. I don't feel like I have a deficit when I act, or limited, or stupid or lazy. I feel exceptional. Acting served as a way to treat my symptoms before I knew I had them. It provides the constant stimulation of new projects and methods, the structure of rehearsals, directors, sets, scripts, and the creative worlds where I can be unencumbered and imaginatively alive in play. My ADHD makes me a better actor: one who is bold and impulsive, curious and driven, buys into circumstance, uniquely sees things and is continually stimulated to learn and experience more.
I want to use my art to provoke change in how we view people's talents academically, economically, socially, and create a world that is just a little bit better by embracing who I am.